December 26th, 2009...

Hello everyone,
today I leave for Minneapolis, only to follow up with a long flight to Mexico. How supreme is that?! The only lame part is that before I came home for Christmas I discovered that I had lost 5 pounds due to exercise and good eating habits! Now I'm right back where I was due to tasty Christmas food and over-eating. That's okay though, it was super good and I feel like it will come off again when I get back to Cloud.
This sucks though; I have about 10 people I want to hang out with in La Crosse but there's one certain boy I would rather spend all of my time with in St. Cloud. Thankfully, this week he will also be going far away from here so we coincidentally picked the same week to travel. We're getting back on the same day= ridiculous.

I got some bomb gifts today and same pretty bad ones.
Top 5 best gifts of today:
1. FISH. EYE. LENS (best gift ever)
2. camera bag
3. moneys for Mexico
4. gift cards
5. Harry Potter 1-6

Top 5 worst gifts of today:
1. Puffy white hoody with two fuzzy balls at the end of the drawstring
2. Argyle sweater, Arizona brand.
3. Microwaveable walnuts
4. Puffy white socks
5. Seasonal beanie baby. (really grandma...)

So there we are. Good things, bad things, returnable things...
My mom also saw my tattoo for the first time today. "Melissa, what is that?" "What mom?" "Is that a REAL tattoo?" "No........." "Tell the truth." "Yes mom, but it's Andy Warhol! You know what he means to me!" "I know Melissa, it's okay it's your body. I'm not mad I love you!" AWESOME! I love you too mom!

Today also marks the day I realize my like for this guy and how much it will genuinely suck when he leaves. The lamezor part is that I actually am super unsure if he is really mutually feeling this or just saying that to be polite while he's in Minnesota. Either way, I can smell his smell and I know what his nose fits like next to my nose. I've never slept so soundly next to anyone in my life. Not that I've slept next to a lot of people but, really. We've fallen asleep with our noses touching like twice now and usually I would get pissed and roll over, but we last that way almost all night. If we don't, one of us ends up with our arms around the other. SO CUTE. So anyway, I hope he shows me that he really cares sometime... That would be bomb and appreciated. The only time I think he likes me is when we're alone. =/ but oh well, he does live in another state 3/4 of the time.

SO ANYWAY let's break this down...
Merry Christmas. Good gifts. Mexico tomorrow. Super tan. Cute boy I like. What's up!

December 23rd, 2009...

Okay, so it's not really the 23rd, but I know I won't write this tomorrow and I feel I should keep the following internet world updated. Therefore, no one will read this ever. Anyway, tomorrow I wake up early so I can head to work for a few hours and then drive to La Crosse! WOO I can't wait =) First it's fun times with friends, then it's fun times with mom, then Christmas time with family, then a day to think about all the cool stuff I got for christmas and hang out with friends, then it's MEXICOOOOHH!

I'm excited today for these reasons:
1. Home Alone is on tv right now; hilarious.
2. The boy is in Minnesota and I am loving every second with him. Too bad we will now be parted for more than a week starting tomorrow. I can't believe we've literally seen each other everyday since he's been home. I like.
3. I weighed myself before I ate dinner, just because I hadn't for awhile, and I lost like 4/5 pounds! I thought that was strange so I weighed myself after I ate and it was the same. AWESOME!
4. I get to go home and see Aaron, Tripp, Tyler & Troy, MOM AND SCOTT, and my kitties.
5. CHRISTMAS DINNER.
6. Mexico
(sub-category)
-tan
-cute Mexican boys
-ridiculous things I'll never need
-tan
-beach in a bikini
-tan tan tan.
7. New Years Eve.

This is so awesome, I can't believe it. DREAMS DO COME TRUE!

See everyone soon! =)

December 22nd, 2009...

I'm having the best week. Aside from working of course...

Dear cute boy,
I would love to snuggle you every chance I got. I can't believe we both have freckles on our right hands. I've literally never met ANYONE ELSE in my life with one in the same spot as me. I can't believe it. =)

Sorry for waking you up at 6:30, I'm unsure of what came over me but I hope it was okay.

Shopko time. Yuck.
Painting time later; woo!

December 18th, 2009... 2.0

THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING ME!

December 18th, 2009...

Finals done. Friday night. Cute boy weekend. Mexico in 9 days. Christmas in 7. Yes please.

Tonight is a night for festivities, alcohol, funny pictures, and friends.

I would like to start with this ridiculous song that I'm listening to. Make fun of it at your own pleasure


Next, I would like to say something to you cute boy I like from far away.

things would be better, IF YOU WERE HERE!

I'm excited to see you, because your nice and smart and appreciative of art and very cute. Hurry your butt up. =)

December 17th, 2009...

I'M DONE WITH FIRST SEMESTER!
Time for cute boy, concerts, Mexico, family, Christmas, best friends, and lots of art making!
I started my art making today with a quick sketch of a friend. =)


Time for sleep!
Shalom my friends.

December 16th, 2009...

I'm blogging at 3:30 AM. I could be sleeping since I'm not really doing homework but, I might as well just stay up now. I just made coffee anyway. So since it's 3:30 it's techinically Thursday. Just so you know I'm titling this as the 16th because I'm sure I'll want to blog later about how happy I am that finals are over.

I I I me me me.

How are you doing?

I want everyone to know I'm recently addicted to cameroid.com since I don't have a mac. I know, it's a shame. Anyway I used cameroid.com to express how I feel at this moment in the morn.


So, there are my art history notecards. Eff my life right? The final is at 7:30 AM. YUCK. My, how will I make it through this morning and stay awake? We'll find out.

"You don't have the steady hands or the technology to pull off a procedure like that so ha- PEACE"

Study Break

I GREW A MUSTACHE!


Clearly unsure about how I feel about it...


You always appreciate something more once it's gone!


It's back!


HA- fooled you guys.


I'm just a nice normal girl...


who really likes what she's wearing today.

Okay, that's enough. No more fake mustaches or talking of leggings: time for art history. Bleh.

December 15th, 2009...

I'm currently in the library coming incredibly close to finishing all of the writing I need to do this week. The man sitting in my direct view approximately 15 feet in front of me just ate a kitkat bar faster than I've ever seen anyone eat one before. Now it is on to an energy drink and to try and add a food group I assume, a cheese stick. What a finals meal. Today I had a cheese quesadilla the size of a cd... oh my. time for foods.

So anyway, as I'm sitting here working on homework I decided I should have a new years resolution. Here it is: I Melissa, will be content with myself; body, mind, and all. I will also find and dance to the best music I've ever heard in my life. I also vow to have the best summer I've ever had.

There it is =) doing it.
Guess what, it's Tuesday... Do you know what that means?
Cute boy. Almost here.

Also while sitting here I discovered another painting I need to do sometime in the next year. I, of course, took a picture of it on my phone so I would remember it always.

There it is, I like it.

So anyway, time to finish this intro and conclusion. =)

December 14th, 2009...

I'm currently beginning a 6 page paper. I just finished my journals for Human Growth and Development, FINALLY. I can only think of all the things I need to do and how much time it's going to take. This is rough. Despite this I'm trying to think optimistically. With that being said, I am playing MPR and burning "fizzy pop" insense which smells INSANELY like the fizz on top of 7up, awesome. It's also relatively clean in my room, although it could still use some more work.

After I'm finished with my finals and getting drunk on Thursday (ha) I'm going to begin some art making and it will be glorious. I'm finishing a light house for my mom on watercolor paper in watercolor pencil and paint. Then I'll be finishing my converse diptych which should be adorable and supreme; although, I can't decide which medium to paint it in yet. THEN I'll be working on an oil painting of a portrait for a nice man who I used to work with at Michaels who was so utterly happy that my mother and I brought in one of my paintings to be framed, that he told me he would pay me for any portrait in oil I chose to do. His name is Mark and he's very nice.

So that kind of sounds like a lot of work and you might be asking, "Melissa don't you need to take a break from all of this school you've been doing?" The answer is no, painting is a break for me as long as it's not assigned! I'm thrilled.

I'll keep you updated on my painting progress.
Until tomorrow!

P.S. December 13th, 2009...

i went up another gauge size again today; the next size is the same size as my 3B drawing pencil. i thought i wasn't going up this high when i started.

but i like it because i feel rebellious!

December 13th, 2009...

Good morning, it's 8:30 am and I am awake. Cleaning my room to some craazy music and I thought i had to share.



i hope you love it and groove in your chair. =)

December 12th, 2009...

geez, i sure made a fool of myself last night via my cell phone. i went out for a little pre-finals celebration and of course got king's cup which topped me off to a high point of embarrassment. not only was i one of those dumb people who walked more than a mile in the freezing cold, i collaborated with my friend on some pretty insane dance moves to daft punk. last night was a holes hall situation and it was bomb; props on a good night everyone.

so this morning i'm thinking about dancing and singing a lot. in thinking about this i thought i would share some interesting videos that may or may not be appreciated. check these out and see if you can find me =)



that's showchoir from 2007/my junior year of high school. we won almost every competition and i sincerely miss it every aspect of it. looking back it's okay that we had "hell week" with 12 hour days of dancing and singing and i'm okay with the fact that we had to travel everywhere during days we had off. the work that came with it was insanely intense, despite what anyone thinks or says. i wouldn't change any of that experience for anything in the world



here's "a boy and a girl" by central's robed choir. if this doesn't give you chills, you don't have a soul! we were damn good.

aside from the fact that i was in two incredible musical groups for a good chunk of my life and i miss it entirely, these people are wonderful. despite that we haven't all sang together for 3 or 2 years i know that if we were all together again it would be like nothing changed. we would be ready for esser's instruction in a minute and if he told us to stop talking, we would stop talking and perhaps even feel guilty about it.

i love that i was in this. thanks esser!

okay time for finals work!!!

December 11th, 2009...

Hi world
I don't like today. I am tired, have lots of homework, and I feel like I ate too much ALREADY and it's only 12 in the afternoon. I hate feeling like I can't eat what I want to... I had cereal and a baby bag of popcorn the size of... a pillow for a gerbil. i also maybe had a tiny bit of frozen yogurt... BUT IT'S FROZEN YOGURT! that's what i'm telling myself and that's what normal people would probably say, but i don't care if it's 3 times healthier than ice cream with no fat and way less calories... i still feel like i shouldn't have.

=(
i wish i felt like i was looking top notch but i don't.
like... ever.

i also wish i didn't think this because i know that it's unappealing. aside from that, in almost every situation i would say, "do what you want! live your life!" but this is one i can't say for myself. if someone else would have eaten what i had i would have said, hey no big deal! but since i'm like triple as hard on myself as everyone else this is not the case.

i wish i could see what others claim i'm so terribly wrong about. X/
DISLIKE!

Important Art Bulletin.

I think this is after 4 hours after I had all the petals and background finished


This could be about 6 or 7 hours...


and this is the completed piece. I'm unsure of it right now because I've been looking at it nonstop for almost 7 hours. Too bad I'm turning it in this afternoon or I would make some more changes. =/

perhaps at a later date when I'm not sleep deprived.

December 10th, 2009...

Coffee maker, I still love you. Mostly because its 2:30 AM and I still have at least 3 hours of painting left for this to look up to par.

In addition to my previous blog, no one is really bad at their own language. Thanks hormones... not. That was super harsh.

I will keep you updated on how the painting is going I guess.

I also hate headaches and when people leave food on the floor.

December 9th, 2009...

I feel like I'll be blogging a lot in the next week or so with finals coming up and all. Cool procrastination... whats up.

So I was incredibly irritated for a number of reasons on the way to campus earlier today.
1. To all the people who didn't shovel your sidewalks, you lazy assholes. It's hard to walk through 5 inches of snow! Especially when you're 5 feet tall.
2. To the boots I am currently wearing, you are cute but so useless. I might as well be wearing ice skates. I hardly picked my feet up off the ground, and I hate that, because if I did I would slip.
3. To all of the people who didn't slow down for me to cross the street. You are in your nice 70 degree car and I am in 10 degree weather. Lets be a little more selfish shall we?
4. To my Human Growth and Development teacher, I walked all the way to the education building to watch that terrible 3 hour movie for extra credit and you moved the room or time without posting it on D2L. Good job, thanks.
5. To my hair, thanks for being frizzy today. You're too long bangs of mine!
6. To my Combined Media class, I know you're going to take forever today because we have to critique everyone's half assed installations. Great... I don't care why you chose to do a paper cut out of our building and tape it to the door; I don't get it.
7. To my partner for the Critical Frameworks essay that's due on Monday. Hi, I don't know how to do an essay with another person and I particularly don't want to because I know you're not good at writing. You like your HP better than these beautiful Macs and you don't know how to make a powerpoint. I don't want to do this with you. I'll write it and you buy me alcohol. How about that?

Alright now that I'm done with that I would like to say thank you to a few things.
1. Thank you weather, this snow is beautiful. Last night after I came back from finishing my installation I ran through 3 yards all containing untouched snow. I was laughing and alone. It was magical and awesome.
2. Thank you coffee maker, without you I would not be as awake as I need to be. You're little with a lot of energy, just like me.
3. Thank you Pandora Radio, you're playing the best songs ever right now. I can't believe that I just heard Muse, OK Go, The White Stripes, Weezer, The Arctic Monkeys, Cake, and The Strokes in a row. It's okay that you played Gnarls Barkley, everyone makes mistakes.
4. Thank you library, for having these awesome computers that are under appreciated way too much. I love 'em.
5. Thank you nice boy, for keeping me on my toes the past couple of days. I like the situation we're in despite everyone's non-recognition of the subject. I'm glad we agree on the fact that it doesn't matter.

There we go. I'm in a better mood due to my list of thank you's. Now I'm going to do this outline for my Critical Frameworks essay by myself so I don't have to go through the annoyance of doing it with someone who's terrible at understanding the setup of an essay.

=)

December 8th, 2009...

I'm currently sitting in the back of my art history class. I just found out my final is next Thursday at 7:30 am, eff my life.

As people were coming into this class I've never wanted so bad for NO ONE to sit by me except my friend Ryan who knows I hate mornings and I don't want to talk or pretend to be nice to anyone. He just came in, late, as usual. I usually come in late with him. I'm pretty sure he felt rushed so he felt no need to come all the way back here to try and find me, unless he just doesn't care which is fine too.

So this guy came and talked to me; dislike.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON YOUR LAPTOP!?"
"homework."
"you should follow the art history powerpoint melissa, that's bad."
"i don't care."

I hate mornings and I think he noticed, so he took his usual seat on the other side of the room. I know though that he doesn't care anything about Diego Rivera or Frida Kahlo and probably knows slim to none about them. Good luck on your final, friend.

I'm done ranting. See you tomorrow internets

December 7th, 2009...

I'm afraid of being afraid of a good thing. This is about when it begins to happen...

I hope I don't make a scene.

Sometimes I think I'm meant to be alone for the rest of my life. I don't think I'll ever settle down because I can never settle for anything.

The greatest guy I've met in a really long time and I'm terrified. Why?

Ex-boyfriend, I blame you. Thanks for taking a good thing and twisting it into a pretzel. Now I'm afraid that that will always happen to me... I'm a nice girl, why did you take advantage of my feelings like that?


I want my paintings back.

December 5th, 2009...

Today is my old best friend's birthday. She's 20. She was my first best friend when I was younger. Rachael lived down the street from me ever since I moved to Wisconsin from Chicago. I have countless memories of her up until we reached our freshman year of high school. I went to Central and she went to Logan. Her parents got divorced so she moved away and my dad went crazy so I moved away. Anyway, since middle school we hadn't really talked but she came up this year to visit me here in St. Cloud. She's definitely invited to my wedding, that's all I have to say about it.

Work was endless today but I think I made some people smile with my obviously fake demeanor. Clearly, they don't know me very well. I said this following line to at least over 200 people today though, here we go.

"HI! How are you doing? GOOD! Did you find everything okay? *don't say anything because saying "good" too many times makes it too obvious that I don't really care* Do you have our Shopko rewards card?!

the dialogue changes with their following responses; these are the normal answers.

"Yes I do actually! Just let me find it in here... *five minutes then passes of them struggling to find their stupid rewards card that won't save them any money anyway* I reply after this, "Well, I can actually look up your number in the computer if you don't want to look for your card!" (they give me their number and I finish the transaction) "OH I FOUND IT! HERE YA GO!"

or.

"No" I then occasionally pursue this response with the good Shopko push, "Oh! Well it's a free savings card that saves you money on several purchases and gives you 10 percent off on your birthday! Are you interested in starting one today?" While I'm doing this my smile is too big and they then realize that I could care less. They then decide it's okay to be an asshole in this situation and reply, "NO I don't have one and I don't want one. I have enough damn cards."

OR my favorite...

"Yeah but it won't do anything. What does it actually do anyway? Do I ever save money? I then reply, "Well, you can look in the ad and find what you can save on with the card by *holds up ad* these symbols. You also save 10 percent on your birthday!" This is completely true, but we usually have no rewards card sales on anything that any normal human being would need. If I could say what it really does, I would say this...

"The card actually does nothing, it's just something we ask to waste your life and ours. Shopko just takes your information so we can send you countless e-mails and send you our ads in the mail to piss you off. And you save 10 percent on your birthday."




I love my job.

December 4th, 2009...

I'm watching Factory Girl right now and it makes me realize just how bad I wish I knew Andy Warhol. We are so similar on our outlooks on life and the thoughts in our head. AGH I hope he knows. It also makes me realize how much of an asshole Bob Dylan was. Eff you Bob Dylan! ha

So anyway, I just want to give a good shout out to life right now.

Life,
Thank you for giving me what you have in the past couple months. I've had terrible experiences that helped me realize my morals and opinions on important subjects, great realizations of what I need to do with my life, and incredible passionate moments that I will never forget. Despite how much we all say we hate college and being here, without a doubt, this is the best time of my life.
Thank you
I will keep in touch,

Melissa

December 1st, 2009...

Hi Tyler.

November 29th, 2009...

ShopKo - Rochester, Minnesota, originally uploaded by Sponge1987/ShopKoFan.

Eff my life. I can't believe how much time I spent at this worthless store in the past 4 days. My entire back side is hurting and there is no cute boy here to relieve the pain. Although there was a cute boy that was here this weekend which I highly appreciated; which I doubt he knows. Thanksgiving weekend was alright. I sold many EPPs (extended protection plans) aka bullshit warranties on hair straighteners and coffee makers, and kissed a cute boy.

Even though I mainly HATED this weekend, seeing my family and another appreciated someone really made it good. Thanks you guys =) MOM I love you, thanks for the baby Christmas tree.

November 28th, 2009...

Today sucked. Shopko made sure of that!

I'm now laying in a freshly made bed of clean organic sheets. Incredibly comfortable and soft, I love you earth friendly.

Dear cute boy I have a crush on,
That was not revenge, that was real life. You're cute. I like your green hat a lot. If you lived here I would ask you to hold my hand while we went for a walk in the snow.

I would really like that situation, if you would.

November 28th, 2009...

Today sucked. Shopko made sure of that!

I'm now laying in a freshly made bed of clean organic sheets. Incredibly comfortable and soft, I love you earth friendly.

Dear cute boy I have a crush on,
That was revenge, that was real life. You're cute. I like your green hat a lot.
If you lived here I would ask you to hold my hand while we went for a walk in the snow.

I like that situation =)

November 23rd, 2009...

Mom, originally uploaded by Melissa is Magenta.

I can't wait for it to snow after Thanksgiving so I can go home and get a Christmas tree with the Momzilla and Scott. On Pandora.com I'm listening to the "Mannheim Steamroller" channel... (sigh) I sure miss my mom driving me to school at 6:45am when I didn't have my license yet. She would put on Mannheim Steamroller and we would sing the beats together and I would skip the songs that were sad so she wouldn't cry and think of grandma. Talking about this right now is making me tear up enough. Now that I'm more than 200 miles away from her I don't care that she made me get up at 5:30 in the morning so that she could be to work on time. I don't care that traffic was bad after school was done when she came to pick me up because I will never forget that time I spent with her. I miss her lots and lots now even though I talk to her almost everyday. Even being able to hear her say "I have to call you back, I'm in a meeting! I love you bye!" is totally okay with me.

I know that everyone thinks they have a rockin' parent. Whether you think you have the best mom in the world or the best dad or even the best grandparents. It's all false. I, Melissa, do have the best mom in the world.

I remember moments I shared with my mom when I was younger that I'll try to repeat someday when I have children of my own. She's always believed in me no matter what the situation, even when I was wrong. Thanks mom, you're my favorite person in the world and I appreciate you and our friendship more than you could ever know. I LOVE YOU! Thanks for always trying as hard as you can to make life livable for me and sorry for taking it for granted when I was younger. Without you I would never ever be the person I am right now.

P.S. I never told you that a month after we got the new carpet in the living room I got blue paint on my sock and tracked it onto the new white carpet. I got it most of it up before it sank in, thank God; but if you still look hard you can see where it was. It's in front of the couch on the right hand side. I'm really sorry and glad you never noticed. =)

November 22nd, 2009...

this just in, i'm not upset anymore. i went for a run this morning and i'm thinking it would be cool to do that several times a week! its funny how something so simple can change your whole outlook of life.

so a few days ago i moved up a size in my ear gauge to an 8. it easily went in without any pain so i as confused and thought that perhaps i was already at an 8? today i bought a 6g and i just tried to put it in; NO WAY JOSE. i'm excited for 2 weeks to go by so i can put these leopard print gauges in my ears =)

grandma will be displeased.

November 21st, 2009...

Hello world,
I have some pretty intense things to say tonight so if you aren't ready for that than I suggest you press the "back" button pretty darn quick because here I go. I will now eliminate capitol letters to let my emotions flow freely from brain, to fingers, to computer screen.

i often feel like i don't belong here. what am i doing even majoring in anything when people think painting as a major is "EASY" those bastards. i know for a fact they can't paint. its far from easy. also, am i getting too strange looking that boys don't even like me anymore? is my personality displeasing because i don't understand what i'm doing wrong. when i get this stressed it makes me want to eat and then after i eat i feel really bad and i stress out again! i'm unsure of what to do (p.s. if anyone has gone through this, help me out. what do i do) anyway so i'm sick of school, i'm sick of asshole guys, and i'm sick of not being motivated in any area of my life.

i'm just really upset tonight internet. i think i'm going to cry.

thanks for always listening though

November 12th, 2009...

I'm at home and I strongly appreciate it. I found the baby book my mom kept after I was born and this exactly line almost made me cry;

"Melissa gets all over walking and does great, also gets up on things a lot, NOT AFRAID OF ANYTHING."

thanks mom =)
I love you.

November 11th, 2009...

11/11 at 11:11 today you will be extra extra lucky =) make a good wish.

I'm at Jules Coffee House in my favorite place in the whole wide world, La Crosse, WI.
everything bad goes away when I come home. I love this lame little town and this tiny coffee shop. SIGH OF RELIEF.

Thanks La Crosse, for always having my back and best interest in mind.

November 9th, 2009...

I think I'm giving up on my online meteorology class.

There is no way I can pass this bullshit class, I'm a damned painting major folks!
I usually don't give up but COME ON I really can't do this and do work and do 15 other credits.

FML. =(

November 8th, 2009...

I'm going home this weekend for the first time since August and guess what... I'm going to see this ridiculous band that I've appreciated since about 7th grade.

I'M SO PSYCHED!

that is all for now. =)

October 5th, 2009...

I just looked at the calender for the date; that was silly of me because I just paid a parking ticket that went up to 20 dollars after the 5th. Good thing I only had to pay 10 dollars.

I'm in the art building right now waiting for my painting class to start. It might be fun but I doubt it. My ipod is about to die and I forgot to put on some good painting jams.

Last night I stayed up until 3:30 documenting my tired state every hour for an art project. I also studied intensely for my Human Growth and Development class that I thought I would fail if I didn't do well on this test. I am glad to report I knew every answer on the test! I hope the neighboring boy didn't copy my answers. Actually, if he did that's okay because I always wish I had someone who knew all the right answers to copy from!

So anyway, since I stayed up all night and got up early to study I'm definitely lacking on the sleep aspect of my life right now. In other words, I want some. I told my group partner that I was with prior to the writing of this blog that I was skipping my painting class and going home to eat and go to bed, but I apparently lied because here I am about to go to class.

Who said you can't paint on an empty stomach and no sleep?
I'm an artist, those are the kind of conditions I should be constantly living in.

October 29th, 2009...

I'm sitting at the kitchen table with my box of oil paints, dirty brushes, and paint pallet tupperware boxes everywhere. This painting is due at 3:00 pm today and i'm not finished yet. Mostly because I don't like it; I can tell the proportions are off but I just assume that no one in my class will notice. Yuck.

I also have a meteorology test to do sometime before Sunday. I guess I should do it tomorrow before I go to MIA to see the Louvre show (which I am psyched for by the way!). Following that I may get dinner but I'm unsure if I'll have time so I also may just go to the Triple Rock for Motion City Soundtrack directly after MIA.

MOTION CITY SOUNDTRACK! I'm so excited =))

Then it's Halloween and I will work from 11:00 to 4:30, draw tattoos on Collin, and then dominate the town as Wonder Woman.

A+ weekend.

October 21st, 2009...

@The Triple Rock Friday the 30th of October; I'm going. =)

THUMBS UP!

October 19th, 2009...

Marty Martin, originally uploaded by Melissa is Magenta.

I miss my baby, Marty =(
I get to see mom and Scott this weekend though which should be supreme. Grocery shopping, winter coat shopping, hopefully those 15 dollar moccasins from Payless in Shopko- 10% off bitches!!!

So anyway, art history test tomorrow and meteorology quizzes tonight; until this weekend I'm going to go ahead and declare a FML.

Except for the fact that Motion City Soundtrack's new cd, Dinosaur Life comes out tomorrow. Justin Pierre- be my best friend!

October 17th, 2009...

The Language of Love at The Fish, originally uploaded by Ahmad Alnejadah.

Hi old love,
I haven't forgotten you and you know this.

Whenever you're ready; I am too.
I want to jump in but I only trust you in this crazy sea.
You've always been the only fish here; I know.

October 16th, 2009...

Hi,
I know I've been harsh, I'm really sorry. The truth is I'm only being so mean because you made me sad. I really had some pretty strong feelings for you and you made it seem like yours disappeared on the exact day we broke up.

It makes me sad to listen to acoustic guitar and violin.
It makes me upset when I catch myself moving my hands or singing beats when I'm listening to my ipod in a public place; because you do that too.
I am confused about my life and what to major in and it would be nice to have someone to talk to about it.
I want to barge in and get the mugs I've left up there but I don't know if Kayla will be there. I don't think she's there often? But since that night I think you care more about her than me. Sad, but I wouldn't be surprised if you really liked her because I know you have before...
Sorry I made out with your friend, it was the only way I could think to handle the situation. At least you didn't have to watch...
It makes me sad to think other girls have been in your room now who aren't me. Please don't take my art down!
I want a hug.


I'm unhappy with this situation. I'm afraid to call you and say sorry because it's Thursday night at 2:11 in the morning and I'm sure you're under the influence of something. I also think you owe me an apology as well. Watching the first boy I've dated for more than a month in a very long time make out with a girl who has always been rude and fake to me is not enjoyable. Not to mention you telling me I "didn't have to be there" afterward wasn't exactly a treat. Despite this, I really really hope we can talk about this soon- I miss you.

Hug time now.

October 15th, 2009...

Hey moron,
you're stressing me owwt.

dislike.

i can't get over you like you got over me, oh so quickly.
but thank you for letting me know how much you really cared about me.

p.s. i passed my portfolio review with flying colors today, jerkface. i might switch my major to a BFA in fine arts because the teachers think i'm too advanced for art ed. i want to tell you but i don't want to talk to you first because you really hurt me; i want you to say sorry and MEAN it.

sometime when you aren't high would be nice?

October 11th, 2009...

last night was a doozy.
i don't like ted at all anymore; we're not friends. especially not today.

he's not even cute to me anymore.

Dear Ted,
sometimes you smell bad.

p.s. halloween is coming up; katie's working on my costume right now. =)
supreme.

October 8th, 2009...

THIRSTY THURSDAY!
i'm not going out tonight; i feel bloated today.

today i turned in my portfolio review application and essay! my interview is next wednesday- i am terrified. i hope i'm accepted into the education program! that would be supreme.


that's me working on my shoe-chair for portfolio review. i think i look old... this is the only picture where i don't hate having a fat face because it makes me look a little bit older!

so anyway, my goal this beautiful homecoming weekend is to find a cute alternative boy who likes death cab for cute and motion city soundtrack. if he wears glasses- plus. if he wears converse- plus. if he wears scarves- WIN.
dear cute boy out there, find me this weekend and smile at me please.


is this pathetic?

i'm okay with that.

October 7th, 2009.2...

geezes, isn't he great?
yes, i think so too. =)

i hope he remembers me the next time i see him. because he definitely has talked with me more than once.

i wish we were bff's.

October 7th, 2009...

that is what i feel is happening to me right now!!! AGGGHGHGH.

the good news is I finished my shoe-chair for my portfolio review =)
one positive of the day!

P.S. October 6th, 2009...

I did a painting for my painting class last week...
here you are folks.



I don't know these guys but the assignment was to paint a subject that we didn't know. I couldn't pass that up so I definitely painting some guys on a train. I'm working on my oil painting though- these guys look way too cartoon-y.

October 6th, 2009...

Attention Readers: Bump-its are the most meaningless waste of plastic I've ever seen.

That is all.

October 4th, 2009...

Hi,
I know you're smoking on your balcony and you're about to read this.
I'm sorry for anything hurtful you read but I want you to know that you hurt me despite what I don't say to you.

I can't just press a "stop" button on love. The fact that you can is sad and tells me that it wasn't that real in the first place. I hope you have/had fun with whoever else you've been with since me.

I hope we can be friends. I know I'm upset about this breakup, but I know you aren't for me. If you ever decide to put me before weed then let me know. <3

I'm done forever talking about you, getting hurt is a waste of my time.

October 3rd, 2009...

Nevermind- I'm over it.
=)

But seriously I want a cute skinny boy with glasses who wears Converse and plays in a band that actually has shows. One that makes art too would be awesome.
Maybe I'll make a poster for the art department.

Although, I don't want to date anyone for awhile. Flirting it up is okay with me as long as I get a snuggle every once in awhile...

Anyway, I'm sick and I don't appreciate it. My nose is out of control and my throat hurts! BBLAH not fun; I want to enjoy fall time!

October 3rd, 2009; Shopko here I come!

October 2nd, 2009...

Today is Ted's birthday but he spend the night at the girl's house who he's previously wanted to spend his nights at. I know because they came in together last night at Jared's. So, I left with Andy; but nothing happened. Unfortunately, I hope he thinks it does. I also know because he has my cell phone and I called Brett to see if he was upstairs so I could get it and he said, "he's at Kayla's I think..."

I know I shouldn't care. I also don't want to care. But I know what they did and it's kind of upsetting. He's just an asshole. If he couldn't give up smoking weed even a little bit for me then it's not even worth it.

WHY DO I CARE.
buggggggh.

He's not my problem anymore; he's someone elses, right? I deserve a nice boy with glasses who appreciates art and likes my singing voice to car radios. <3

September 22, 2009...

Hi!
I did it; today at 12:00 pm I got my tattoo and it's supa cool!



I love it, Andy Warhol, and having free time.
Too bad I only have my tattoo and my love for Andy Warhol.
I wish i had free time this week!

Cute boys- come my way!
Ted and I broke up last week.
Stick a fork in us, we're done.

TATTOO FOR RELIEF? =)

September 22nd, 2009...

OMG OMG OMG OMG
I'm getting my Andy Warhol tattoo in 1 hour =)

That is all.

September 13th, 2009...

Hi

Today I hate the way I look.
Do boys even think I'm cute anymore?

They goddamn better!

September 11th, 2009...

Hi
8 years today.
The day and the people will not be forgotten. <3

I just wanted to say something, because it really is an impactful day that all of us should recognize. I was walking through the hallway in my elementary school when it happened. My teacher was standing in front of the tv so we couldn't see what was happening- but I sat in the left front corner, so i could see. i watched a plane hit a tower and i was the only one in that room who watched it. i cried. i also thought i might die or that my uncle in chicago might: i'm glad neither of us did.

Besides that, I had a good day! I had 1 boring class then rushed off to work a very slow day since it was so RAINY. No one was there- totally boring. 2 of the other girls at the front and I wore feather boas and Andy and I decided to order pizza for dinner. He paid for it though... =)

Cute.

I probably think it's more cute because Ted's being so rude lately. GREAT Ted; you're blowing it.

Better step it up before your time is done!

P.S. we got cable today and I'm going to do homework and watch tv all night. =)

September 8th, 2009...

Hello blog readers,
I don't know who you are and I'm okay with this. I hope you're enjoying reading about how I feel towards myself, others, and the earth I inhabit. Today I had an adequate day and I'm now listening to Desiree by Caribou. I'm using the shared network from the guys upstairs and I think this is from one of their shared itunes. It's supreme. I think this is Luke's itunes. If so, thanks luke my dearest friend who lives in the room directly above me, i always know that if I need new and good music that I should come to you.

Today I feel okay with the way I look. I didn't go for a 3 mile run, I didn't count calories, I didn't think about anything relating to weight; and I don't feel ugly. I like this.

Katie is baking mysterious cookies in the kitchen right now. The air in our apartment smells like sugary dough and sweetness- yum. The cookies are only mysterious because my roommates wanted cookies so bad that they made them out of the only cookie-like materials we had: sugar, flour, water, and eggs. I guess that's all you need? Who knows.

I'm almost out of food in our apartment. Currently I have 3 mini-bagels, 2 cups of mandarin oranges, bread, oatmeal, and a box of Special K. I have no milk for this box of cereal though and I tried eating it without milk and it's no fun- so that's a no. I'm too poor and busy to go grocery shopping.

Soon I will get my check from the leftover loan money I have. Then I'm getting my Andy Warhol tattoo =)



There it is! "back!" means that that is almost exactly what the back of my body looks like. almost...

I can't wait.

September 1st, 2009...

Goddammit.
I feel like a blimp and I think I look like one.

It's disgusting.
WHATS WRONG WITH ME!?

what a bad week.

August 27th, 2009...

Classes started.
I'm poor and overwhelmed.
If I could tell you something without upsetting you, I would.
If I could tell you something and get a positive reaction, I would.
Parking tickets = $65.00
I miss mom!

August 20th, 2009...

I don't like the way I look anymore.

=X

I also know that me talking about it is bothering everyone close to me. So, I will take matters into my own hands and I will not bring it up to anyone ever again. Unless they are a professional?
Eekk.

August 17th, 2009

It's been awhile, readers.

Today Ted and I have been dating for 5 months. WOW MOM. cool... even though I feel like we haven't been lately because I hardly ever see him; but that's okay because he's moving here soon and I'll see him all too often.

I was just listening to Gonna Make You Sweat by C&C Music Factory, which is a pretty ridiculous song. Sometimes when it comes on and Katie is here I turn it up really loud and pretend I'm the one saying "everybody dance now!" She laughs a lot. I was then thinking, that's probably not that funny. The only person I would ever laugh at singing that song is... my dad. Then I got to thinking how much I really am like my dad. He used to be caring, funny (hilarious actually), and he put others before himself. I bet we were really similar when we were this age and that freaks me out. I know he had lots of friends and he liked to party, but he always had people there to support him. Then he turned into a self absorbed, crazy, pot smoking, anti-dad who doesn't care about absolutely anyone or anything besides weed, how he will get it, and where he will smoke it. Everyday that's all he thinks about. Not me, not his brothers and sisters, not his life; just weed. He pushed away his wife (now ex), his second wife (also now his ex), his brothers and sisters, his friends, and now me. Should I even bother bringing a child into this world? Am I going to make them go through what I had to with my dad?

Knock me out before I become like him.

August 4th, 2009

I'm listening to Brand New right now. It makes me wish I were in a huge studio apartment with a wall covered in white tarps and a giant canvas I could splash paint onto. I am a moody dramatic artist when I listen to music like this. Who isn't though these days? I have to go work at Shopko in a little bit and I'm really not looking forward to it. I wish I still had a fun job like I did in La Crosse, despite its shitty paycheck I had a pretty good time.

Someone come to St. Cloud and scoop me up in their arms and carry me to their car. We would drive far far away listening to the best music we've ever heard and eat the vanilla tootsie rolls. After we drive for at least 2 hours we can stop in some abandoned parking lot and dance together to Nick Drake. We will also be the best dancers we have ever been.

I like that story.

August 1st, 2009

It was my birthday 2 days ago. And here i am.

At age 19 i feel fat, but lately i've been beginning to realize i'm not fat. i'm just not as stick-like as i was as a high school senior. but we can't all stay the same forever i suppose right? i also feel like i'm missing my soul mate. i know the address and street name of his current home and i can't be with him. i know sometimes people describe their significant others as their missing puzzle pieces, but this mate of mine is more than just a puzzle piece. if you could see the missing pieces of my soul, it would make a beautiful image. close to that of van gogh's cafe terrace or monet's water lilies. so the fact that this boy can fill my strange ridiculous hole with his existence and love is perfect and nothing can ever take it away. that's for sure.

For sure.

"I wish I were in your sheets letting your smell fill up my lungs with every breath. I would like to sleep by your side for the rest of time. The rain and the leaves and the snow can fall in every season and the only falling I will do is falling deeply madly in love with you! With this being said I would like to make you an offer you cannot refuse. If I promise to never burn your toast, or break your heart, or ruin any of your most valuable possessions on purpose, will you please stay with me forever? I will always make sure you never regret your decision to be mine."

You will never see this, but I hope you appreciate it.

July 21st, 2009 (again)

I was just searching through my photos after my last post and I realized that there are too many things on this computer to hide to the world.

They need to be posted and shared.

Junior year of high school: feeling artsy?


I remember taking this photo with my Canon Powershot on the way to school at 6am. My mom was driving. I miss those talks.


I love all of the situations I have been put in throughout my life. Despite how good or how bad, they've all shaped me to be who I am today. The only thing about looking at old photos is that now I've realized how much weight I've gained in the past 3 years. Great. I'm looking forward to seeing what the next 3 years do to my body... =| ha.

July 21, 2009

It's been a few days.
I fell into a little bit of a slump in good ol' St. Cloud so I came home for a few days. Thank God.

I'm on my families computer so there are some pretty interesting things on here that I usually take for granted; but not today.


This is the first EP cover for the Second String Dinosaurs. I love this.

I got new gauges today- they are pretty spectacular. I'm feeling rebellious and artsy as hell. I also bought a coat today for 20 dollars. I thought I was out of my mind when I walked outside the mall and it was 75 degrees outside but in the midst of my early morning rush to 9 oclock class in the brisk fall air, I will be grateful for my cute 20 dollar coat.

I'm glad I'm home, I missed my cats.

July 14th, 2009 2.0

There needs to be more art on my page.

July 14th, 2009

There's a tornado warning today. I don't like that. DISLIKE!

I hope it goes away by the time I see Harry Potter 6 tonight, because I am PSYCHED!
Today was also my first day on the job. Just orientation, but I got paid to sit around which is always nice. Following orientation I recieved my polo shirt that will be matching my khaki pants. Cute.

School starts in a month and my birthday is in two weeks. It's time to kick this summer up a notch and begin this school year out right. I am determined to make this year the best I've ever had and the one I'll never forget.

July 13th, 2009

Today I had a Tagalong blizzard from Dairy Queen and now I am exhausted. I thought I was going to throw up after I was done with it because there was so much sugar and I ate it too fast so it wouldn't melt. I didn't throw up.

I also traced Andy Warhol's signature onto a piece of scotch tape and put it on my skin where I want it to be tattooed permanently on my birthday. I want it in between my shoulders kind of at the base of my neck. IT LOOKS AWESOME! I can't wait!

The most recent thing I've done today is read my planner from this past school year. Throughout the year I would keep somewhat of a journal in my planner on the pages I didn't use. Its ridiculous to see how my life fluctuated from good to bad to good to bad in what seemed to be such a short period of time. Break up in September, crush in September. Crush ends in October, crush begins in November. Begin a relationship in December, end it in February. Have the most fulfilling one night relationship with a boy I had been wishing I were with through all the other ones, it ends in flames. I finally found someone worth keeping who completes me and also helps me not to be a crazy indecisive college student though. Thank God.

I wish my internet connection were faster so I could watch this episode of Weeds. I start work tomorrow so I thought I would get in my lazy beforehand.

I'm going to call my mom. I haven't talked to her for a few days.

July 12th, 2009

I just looked at my phone. The only missed calls are from my dad. Sorry I'm not returning your calls dad, you deserve it!

Apart from ignoring my father's phone calls, I had an interesting day today. An interesting weekend in fact! My significan other, Ted, came to visit Friday night! It was a nice night, not as ultimate as I had dreamed of but I think girls probably do that a lot. I was expecting him to come up right after work so we could get dinner together. Instead he got here at 9 and we went to Perkins where we ordered an apple cinnamon muffin, a side order of fries and mashed potatoes. I guess I do really appreciate that because neither of us actually wanted full meals anyway. After that we walked to the damn and dangled our legs over the edge. SCARY! We were fine.

Saturday after Ted left me all alone, I wanted 3 hours for his phone call only to drive 45 minutes to go see him again! Ted, our friends, and his neighbors drank together and discussed his neighbors out of control younger years. I'm sure all of those adults enjoyed every moment of this. After I woke up this morning and drove back... I slept some more. But then I got up and went for a run! Watched some episodes of Degrassi and started up this new blog.

I would say my day and weekend has been a success and I appreciated every moment. The only thing is... I wish my leg hadn't swollen up due to a mosquito bite; not okay.

My laptop is buurning my legs now.